Getting Started and Getting Uncomfortable

Well, I've put this off long enough.  I've thought about doing a blog for a long time now, but have thought of many reasons not to.....don't have the time, not very savvy when it comes to computer stuff, feel kind of silly, no one really cares to know what is going on in my head, blah, blah, blah.  This list could go on and on.  But here's the conclusion I've come to...quite simply, I need an outlet.  I love to write and I like having conversations with people.  However, I don't take the time to write and I have very little adult conversations.

 I stay at home with four kids and home school them so the majority of my conversations are with people 12 and under.  And let me tell you, that can lead to some very interesting conversation!  Twelve year old girls like to talk about, well, ....themselves, as well as clothes and music and hairstyles, and then, themselves some more.  Ten year old boys talk about things that make no sense to me....the nuke on minecraft (???), or how so and so has an uncle who is good at hacking some video game that I've never heard of.  I don't know if this is a good or bad thing because I don't know what video game hacking is.  Is this legal?!  And when he is not telling me about video games he is quoting all kinds of scientific facts about this rare Amazon snake or new species of animal discovered in a country I've never heard of.  This, at least, boosts my confidence seeing as how I AM the boy's science teacher, although I don't ever remember teaching him these things!  Oh, and just this week, he asked me when the satellite was going to return from Pluto with the first close-up pictures EVER, because he can hardly wait.  I, first, had to pretend that I knew a satellite was coming from Pluto and then come up with a semi-intelligent sounding response.  He said he thinks it's going to be another two years.  Well, let me mark the calendar.  So, now that brings me to six year old girls.....it is not as much conversation as it is "watch this"  , "see what I can do",  "come to my show".  I have watched 314,954, 268 cartwheels to date, countless splits and round-offs, dance shows in the play room, and heard numerous solos (of songs that are made up, of course).  That leaves the four year old boy.  Presently our conversations our very one-sided with me saying things like, "no, don't do that", "no, don't touch that", "no, you can't have that", "no", "no", "no", and our most popular... "WHERE ARE YOU?!"  When we do converse, it is about exciting subjects like poop, boogers, and blood.

So, you see my dilema.  I do have one friend that I talk to regularly each day.  And what do we end up talking about?  THE KIDS!  Of course.  So, this is my conversation time, my outlet.  Granted, no one will be talking back, but I'm okay with that.

All that is just the prelude; the why to my writing.  Here's the real deal.  I have had these thoughts swirling in my head for a while now, but no one to express them to.  I have been thinking a lot about our comfort zones.  We, as Americans, are very comfortable people.  We have houses that are heated and cooled, a bed for everyone (usually one or two to spare), a pantry full of food and kids that still complain "there is NOTHING to eat" (which means there isn't enough junk food in the house), and we have enough clothes to outfit a small village (along with hair bows, matching shoes, earrings, etc.).  Oh, and don't get me started about the toys- legos, polly pockets, (all those tiny pieces!), dolls, video games, etc.  Then, of course, the electronics- television, dvr, ipod, iphone, ipad, Leapster, ds, and all the other bells and whistles.  We can have anything we want (for the most part) in an instant.  Our kids don't learn the value of hard work because, let's be honest, we, as parents, don't have to work hard for lots of things ourselves.  If we need something, we just hop in the car and scoot on down to one of the numerous stores at our disposal and buy it.  We're comfortable and we like it that way.

I've recently felt compelled to "get out there more".  I have always had a heart for the less fortunate than me and have always been somewhat of an activist, but then I had kids and felt like my job was to concentrate on them.  So, I turned my life over to my family and somewhat turned my back to the causes that once stirred me.  I still felt stirred and compelled, but thought, "My kids are my job right now.  They will be grown all too soon and then I will focus on these other things once again."  Well, here's the problem with that....you end up with kids that think the world revolves around them and they have that dreadful entitlement attitude that just makes my blood boil.  And don't get me wrong.  I actually have very good kids.  They are well behaved (with the exception of one, but we are working on that), they are respectful, and rarely get in trouble.  But still, I wanted to see a different heart attitude.  So I took action.  I decided to get involved, expose my kids to the less fortunate, show them the harsher realities of life, and in the process, I realized something.....I NEED TO CHANGE.  Me?  I thought I was doing this for my kids?!

I've realized how comfortable I have been.  But now?  I am growing more and more UNCOMFORTABLE with my comforts.  I have met people recently that sleep each night on the street without a blanket.  And why do I have a closet full of blankets that are never used?  I have met people that have to work their fingers to the bone just to put a pot of noodles on the table for their family.  Me?  I look in my freezer each day to choose what I will cook that evening.  And we have so many leftovers that never get eaten; things that sit in the fridge so long that we won't even feed it to the dog.  I met a woman recently that was struggling.  I asked her how I could help her.  She asked for a pot.  A pot?  Oh, I have lots of those.  In fact, I have so many that we keep some inside the house and some in the camper (because, heaven forbid, I actually have to carry pots out to the camper when we are packing for a trip!).  I disgust myself at times.  We have too much.  There is so much we can do without.  There are hurting people out there;  homeless, impoverished, underfed, underclothed, unloved.  I am developing a new mindset each day.  How can we make a difference?  Who can we bless?  How can we help?  This doesn't have to be about money.  It's about time, listening, showing compassion.  We have been working on Saturday mornings with a local ministry that reaches out to the homeless and less fortunate in our area.  You know what really impresses them?  Remembering their name, remembering their need, asking them questions about themselves...simply treating them like human beings.

God has called me more and more out of my comfort zone and I am becoming surprisingly comfortable there.  He has given me His eyes to see the hurt around me.  How can I not respond?  There is so much more we can do.  There is so much we can do without.  For each person it looks different, but God knows what we are capable of.  And, better yet, He equips us for every need!  I have felt for some time now that God was asking me to do something that I felt was a bit radical and I told Him all the reasons why He was mistaken.  ( I can't tell you what it is- you'll just have to stay tuned!)  He has slowly taken away each fear that I had, each apprehension, and every argument has been laid to rest.  Now I am excited.  I can't wait to see how God is going to equip me to take on the next task at hand.  Bring on the discomfort!  I love it!

And, just as a side note.  As my attitude started to change and my kids observed the change, their attitudes naturally followed suit.  They have been softened and compelled to act and serve.  Go figure.